第39部分
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restoring the
organ; and making the singing as perfect as possible。 To keep
the church fabric and the church…ritual intact was his business;
to have the intimate sacred building utterly in his own hands;
and to make the form of service plete。 There was a little
bright anguish and tension on his face; and in his intent
movements。 He was like a lover who knows he is betrayed; but who
still loves; whose love is only the more intense。 The church was
false; but he served it the more attentively。
During the day; at his work in the office; he kept himself
suspended。 He did not exist。 He worked automatically till it was
time to go home。
He loved with a hot heart the dark…haired little Ursula; and
he waited for the child to e to consciousness。 Now the mother
monopolized the baby。 But his heart waited in its darkness。 His
hour would e。
In the long run; he learned to submit to Anna。 She forced him
to the spirit of her laws; whilst leaving him the letter of his
own。 She bated in him his devils。 She suffered very much from
his inexplicable and incalculable dark rages; when a blackness
filled him; and a black wind seemed to sweep out of existence
everything that had to do with him。 She could feel herself;
everything; being annihilated by him。
At first she fought him。 At night; in this state; he would
kneel down to say his prayers。 She looked at his crouching
figure。
〃Why are you kneeling there; pretending to pray?〃 she said;
harshly。 〃Do you think anybody can pray; when they are in the
vile temper you are in?〃
He remained crouching by the beside; motionless。
〃It's horrible;〃 s
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